On Sight Unseen

Thoughts on “It Gets Better”

therealkatiewest:

jamesmerenda:

In response to a person who alleged that people who took issue with the campaign “[are not] understanding the point.”

I’m gonna jump in on this one. The idea behind the campaign is noble. Thank goodness someone is saying something. But the way it is being handled is problematic. When you have people just assuring you that it gets better, there is the surface level of the statement, which is standard fare keep-your-head-up, don’t-let-the-bastards-get-you-down.

Then there’s the underlying implication that you just have to deal with the suffering, that there’s nothing to do but wait and hope for the shiny new day that is implied exists. Which might be fine, if there were a magical metamorphosis in the homophobe/heterosexist brain that changes on high school graduation day and suddenly there’s no more need or desire for harassment, but that is a fantasy. In the past month, in NEW YORK CITY, Gomorrah itself, there have been at least three high-profile attacks on homosexual men, one of which happened in Chelsea, a more commonly “gay-friendly” area, and the other at Stonewall Inn, arguably the most famous gay bar to exist.

“The point” that we’re “not understanding” is that someone should be telling people not to give up. Unfortunately, “it gets better” is not the statement people need to here. They need to hear “there is help.” They need to hear “there are people who love you.” And maybe they need to hear “swing back.” As someone who has struggled through depression and been suicidal, “it gets better” is akin to “don’t be such a pussy.” It’s great that we’re saying something, but a catchphrase isn’t going to save any lives. Action will. In the meantime, the catchphrase should at least do more than say “wait it out.”

 James keeps it real. And makes an excellent point while doing so.

I’ve wondered about this myself. At the darkest points of my life, I don’t think hearing “it gets better” would have been much solace. 

Maybe instead of “it gets better”, it should be “you deserve better”?

1 year ago62 notes
  1. inthefuturethereisnofuture reblogged this from therealkatiewest and added:
    My thoughts on “it gets better” are always better conveyed by the people that Katie West reblogs than by me personally.
  2. arnetia reblogged this from therealkatiewest
  3. femmequeermexicanaslut reblogged this from handgrenade2
  4. handgrenade2 reblogged this from jamesmerenda and added:
    All of this. While I really do love...that it’s something that
  5. poeticartifacts reblogged this from jamesmerenda
  6. meganfalley reblogged this from jamesmerenda
  7. sagemaria reblogged this from therealkatiewest and added:
    I was just talking about this the other day. “It Gets Better” seems like a really crappy thing to say to these kids. To...
  8. jtyoung reblogged this from therealkatiewest and added:
    I’ve wondered about this myself. At the darkest points of my life, I don’t think hearing “it gets better” would have...
  9. eversonpoe reblogged this from therealkatiewest
  10. smsfindlay reblogged this from therealkatiewest
  11. sleepontheloveseat reblogged this from therealkatiewest and added:
    issue with this campaign since it started, and this is the best articulated reason WHY I have come across.
  12. tangledupinlace reblogged this from therealkatiewest
  13. expandingmywhorizons reblogged this from therealkatiewest
  14. coldfish reblogged this from therealkatiewest and added:
    I felt horribly confused during Spirit day, and that whole time, and still now. The majority of the LGBTQI community is...
  15. cameronchristopher reblogged this from therealkatiewest
  16. vicktoralexander reblogged this from therealkatiewest